Wonders upon wonders! It turns out the printing press was working the whole time. However, it is with great sorrow that I announce the end of our limited edition line of placemats. In honor of our newly freed paper, please send your friendly editor whatever tickles your fancy. As always Port Love is happy to help out and if you should feel the need to cast some shadow or one might say flank-eye on someone then there’s always Am I the Whirlhole?
Your friendly neighborhood editor,
[Very excited to fill this paper up in celebration of our victory. Send me what you’d like printed in the Local Insert by Sunday before game at email@example.com.]