My fellow residents of Port Katherine, it is with great sorrow that I must inform you that the printing press was destroyed this previous season. Perhaps this is a blessing in that it shall make it easier for us to comply with the new laws we have. I understand that many of you may be upset and may have prepared pieces you had hoped I would be able to print. If you would like to share these with me for nostalgia’s sake, I would be honored to hold onto them but there will be no local insert this season and I will not be able to offer any other printing services.
Your former publisher,
[OOC: The printing press is fine. I will 100% be printing an illegal local insert so send me your articles, thoughts etc. As always don’t forget Port Love! These are trying times but also great times to confess your love and what better way than the illegal newspaper? There really is no limit on the spiciness level now that we’re illegal so have fun! My email is email@example.com]